Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
