well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
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I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
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I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
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