And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
