just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
