I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you inspire me to be a worse person
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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