Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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