Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im six kinds of drunk right now
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
