I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
