Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
