I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We got so high we made milksteak
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
