I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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