After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
