and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
