I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
