4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
