Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
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