Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
