we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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