this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
