I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
