You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This is the high leading the old right now
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
