New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
