it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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