my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize