Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Holy shit dude........stairs
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