Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
