i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
