dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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