I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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