Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
