It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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