My nipple is on Facebook.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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