After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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