I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
don't judge my taste in strippers
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
