Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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