I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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