white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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