It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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