Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How does one acquire holy water?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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