I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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