Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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