Got a toothbrush?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
