you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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