dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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