i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
