Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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