do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
