we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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