This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
