i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
