overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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