Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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