I wannas sexs uuuuu
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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