Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
