thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
