If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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