Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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