I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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