You don't have asthma, your pregnant
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
