I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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