A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
