i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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